Taken from brookem over at Skrinkering Hearts.
We are so caught up in identifying ourselves with who we are, that we forget who we are not. This post lets you know that it’s ok not to be something.
I am not as innocent as most believe, I definitely have a corrupt side. I am not quiet after you get to know me. I am not one to voluntarily divulge personal information. But if you ask, I will probably tell you. I’m not an initiator, I like for you to strike up the conversation. I’m not a talker, I like to listen and observe. I am not the best at reading people, their mannerisms, body language, or speech. I am usually not aware when a guy is flirting or rejecting me, unless it’s direct, with “yes” or “no.” I am not always a figurative person, I tend to see the literal side of things. Though, I’m not monotonous, either.
I am not afraid of the dark. I am not afraid to be alone. Though, I don’t want to spend my entire adult life detached or companionless. I am not one to wear her heart on her sleeve. I am not going to change who I am to please someone else. I’m not always a great friend, though I really try to be. I’m not one to spend hours talking on the phone, I hate it. I am not someone who makes promises she can’t keep. I am not someone who tells others secrets. I am not someone who always gets the joke. I need you to explain it to me sometimes.
I am not always happy in my own skin. I am not where I want to be in my life or career. I am not one hundred percent sure who I want to be. I am not going to give up until I am. I am not a mother, wife, author, best friend, girlfriend, world changer, but I want to be. I am not afraid to say want I want and go after it. I am not someone who always stands up for herself. I let people take advantage and walk all over me sometimes. I am not sure how to take a compliment or criticism. I am not sure where I will be in ten years, five year, two years, or even a year from now. I am not against moving to another country.
I am not attracted to blond guys or dumb guys or short guys or ugly guys. I am not picky, I just know what I want. I am not going to settle on just any guy. He has to be the guy and I am not ashamed to admit that. I am not a fan of Starbucks coffee for the sole reason that it’s too expensive, when coffee is objectively cheap. I am not embarrassed to say that I have used my laundry money (quarters) to pay for twelve dollar Chinese take-out. Which leads me to say, I am not one that does laundry on a regular basis.
I am not musical, though I desperately wish to be. I am not a cook and I don’t care that I’m not domesticated. I am not ever without a book. I am not a fan of hot weather, I like the fall and winter. I am not a fan of socks, I hate them. I am not one to sleep in lots of clothes, the less the better. I am not someone who sleeps all day, my body just won’t let me. I am not someone who goes to bed early, I guess you could call me a night owl, though that seems really cheesy and corny. I am not a morning person, I need time to wake up and process things first. I am not a vegetable eater, I hate everything green and good for you.
I am not ok with someone telling me what to do, when to do it and how to do it. I am not a fan of condescending people, and their glances and stares. If you have something to say, say it. I am not afraid of confrontation. I am not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. I am not one to talk down to you, so do not do it to me. I am not one who likes to be belittled. I am not someone who talks about you behind your back.
I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe in. I am not afraid to let my voice be heard when it concerns something I stand for. I am not always the happy-go-lucky person that everyone thinks I am. I have my sad and lonely days, too.
I am not sure what else to say, but this not all of what I am not.
November 9, 2008 at 2:35 am
beautiful!
November 9, 2008 at 4:00 am
brooke: Thank you so much!
November 10, 2008 at 4:23 pm
i love it! of course, we agree on pretty much all.
November 11, 2008 at 5:26 am
brookem: Thank you! And of course we agree, it’s rare that we don’t!
November 12, 2008 at 4:12 am
[...] like two other people have jumped on the not bandwagon… have [...]
November 12, 2008 at 4:31 pm
I found you from Brookem’s link. This is so well written. I feel like there were so many parts that you were pulling from my heart.
“I am not a mother, wife, author, best friend, girlfriend, world changer, but I want to be.”
and
“I am not going to settle on just any guy. He has to be the guy and I am not ashamed to admit that.”
These both hit home pretty hard. I can’t wait to read more!
November 12, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Sara Jane: Thank you so so so much! Writing this post was hard, but it opened my eyes at the same time. It forced me to acknowledge a lot of things that I thought were negative. But after writing I realized that just because I’m NOT something doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.