touch my body

The always wonderful and funny, Kimmi recently wrote a blog over at The Nervous Breakdown entitled, “You Don’t Want Your Fingers to Smell Like Vagina.”  She talks about being in-touch and comfortable with your own body, and learning and exploring what you like and how to please yourself.  Her post is hilarious and empowering.  And just like her, it fucking rocks!  I loved it! 

Read Kimmi’s post here.

 

we have to stop now

I am obsessed with the new web-series We Have To Stop Now, written by Ann Noble, directed by Robyn Dettman, and starring Jill Bennett and Cathy Debuono.  It is ridiculously funny, quirky, charming, and the writing is witty and smart, I love it!  If you’re not watching it, you should be.

Watch new and previous episodes here.

 

I don’t make for a good girlfriend

I’m not much of a romantic.  I’m not one to remember important dates/anniversaries: first kiss, first date, first song, first this, first that.  I don’t posses those girlie hormones: that need to remember and celebrate every detail. I just don’t get into it, I don’t see the point.  I mean, they’re just dates to me, another day on the calender.  I don’t have the time or energy for it, therefore, I don’t care.  I know, I know, I’m a heartless bitch.  Think what you will, I won’t judge you…for judging me.

I’m not completely heartless though, I wouldn’t mind the occasional love letter.  But it better be from the heart and realistic.  My ideal love letter would sound a little like this:

T.I. Whatever You Like  

I said you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like, yeah.

Stacks on deck, Patrón on ice
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like, yeah
Late night sex, so wet it’s so tight
I gas up the jet for you tonight
Baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like, yeah.

Anytime you want to pick up the telephone
You know it ain’t nothin’ drop a couple stacks on you.
You want it? You can get it my dear
5 million dollar home drop Billions I swear.

Yeah, I want your body, I need your body
Long as you got me you won’t need nobody
You want it, I got it, go get it, I buy it
Tell them other broke niggas be quiet.

Stacks on deck, Patrón on ice
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like, yeah
Late night sex, so wet it’s so tight
I gas up the jet for you tonight
Baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like, yeah.

Shawty you the hottest, I love the way you drop it
Brain so good, could’ve sworn you went to college
100k deposit, vacations in the tropics
Cause everybody know it ain’t trickin’ if you got it
And you ain’t never ever gotta go in your wallet
As long as I got rubberband banks in my pocket
5′6 drives wit rims and a body kit
You ain’t gotta downgrade, you can get what I get.

My chick can have what she want
And go in any store buy any bag she want
I notice you ain’t never had a man like that
To buy you anything your heart desire like that.

Yeah, I want your body, I need your body
Long as you got me, you won’t need nobody
You want it, I got it, go get it, I buy it
Tell them other broke niggas be quiet.

Stacks on deck, Patrón on ice
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like, yeah
Late night sex, so wet it’s so tight
I gas up the jet for you tonight
Baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like, yeah.

If someone presented me with a love letter like this I just might be inclined to be more of a girl and start paying attention to our relationship.  I don’t want any Celine Dion shit.  Give me a little rap and I’ll do whatever you like!

 

aaannnnd…

I’m back!  It’s been, what, forever since I last posted?  And I apologize, because I left you with mere bread crumbs to last you through this blog famine.  But hunger no more, or at least for a few days, because I’m back with stuff to share with you.  So, to tide you over until tomorrow (when the real blogging returns) I will share with you a few things I did while on my little excursion home to visit the family.

 

 

There was a lot of nibbling and kissing and snuggling and loving on this:

 

I watched a lot of this:

 

 

and this:

 

and this:

 

I listened to a lot of this:

 

Ate a lot of this:

 

Finished this:

 

and started this:

 

So in a nutshell, that’s what the past week consisted of for me; the nugget, box sets, music, food, and books.  Though, I’m ready to get back to work, seeing as all the fun I had last week did not put any money into the bank account. 

 

it’s hell when you’re around

The last two days I have been filled and consumed with anger.  I don’t know why or where it’s coming from or how to rid myself of it, but it’s really putting a big black cloud over my usual sunny disposition.  I woke up Monday morning feeling a little off, I didn’t sleep well the night before, but that’s nothing new or out of the ordinary.  I showered, dressed, ate breakfast, and headed to work.  On the train, like always, I hit shuffle on my ipod and continued about my way.  However, about ten seconds into the first song, “Rootless Tree” by Damien Rice, I suddenly found myself engulfed with animosity and annoyance.  And for some reason I deliberately, which still baffles me, listened to the song over and over and over and over, continuously all day. With every, “Fuck you”  anger and fury pulsated through my veins.  Everything and everyone seemed to irritate me.  And the fact that I didn’t know why, irritated me that much more.  I could not justify the reason for feeling this way, and it’s continued into today. 

Work has been a little stressful the last two weeks, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.  And no one has done anything to provoke this hatred and resentment that has monopolized and devoured me these last two days.  And I can’t stop listening to this song.  If I’m not listening to it, then the lyrics are looping through my thoughts.  I know this is going to sound ludicrous, but when I hear the song and I listen to the lyrics, I project them onto myself, as if I’m directing them specifically at me. Maybe I’m angry with myself?  Maybe, all this resentment is my sub-conscious finally having enough, finally saying, “fuck you” to my conscious, screaming “let me out?” I don’t know, I just hope the two work out their problems while I’m asleep tonight.  So, just an FYI Conscious and Sub-Conscious, I will be forever grateful to wake up happy, full of love, positive energy, and a sound peace of mind. 

 

today’s post is brought to you by the letter “G”

Last week, brookem joined in with Lilu, who had a little ABC game going on over on her blog.  So like most things I said, “what the hell” and joined in as well.

If you want to participate, leave a comment on this post and I will assign you a letter. You then write about 10 things you love that begin with your assigned letter and post them on your blog. When people comment on your posted list, you give them a letter and the chain continues on and on.

10 things I love, brought to you by the letter G:

1.  Gilda Radner:  She’s brilliantly funny and she has crazy hair and I love it!  I cannot explain how much she makes me laugh and fills my heart with joy.  My dad and I still go around quoting her SNL sketch, Roseanne Roseannadanna.  One of my favorite Gilda Radner quotes is: “Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end.  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.  Delicious ambiguity…”  I just love her.

2.  Googly Eyes:  These little useless inventions keep me entertained for hours!  The possibilities are endless with googly eyes.  You can glue them on anything, and it’s always funny…at least to me, anyways.

3.  God:  What can I say, he’s good to me.

4.  Goldfish:  I could sit and stare at them for hours.  I love to watch them swim around in their tank, admiring their little  fish faces.  Their slimy golden bodies fascinate me. 

5.  Girls Just Want To Have Fun:  My favorite line:  “I just want to dance.”  Aaaaaggggghhhh, I love this movie!

6.  Google:  I do love google.  I especially love when google knows what I’m trying to google.  “Oh, did you mean, blah blah blah blah blah?”  Why yes google, I did, thank you for pointing out and correcting my poor spelling skills!  But I still love it, I google everything.

7.  Great people who do great things:  My mom and dad. (Sorry, no picture.  They’re humble do-gooders who wish to remain out of the spotlight.)

8.  Girl Scout Cookies:  I cannot get enough!  Though apparently, the Girl Scouts had enough of me.  They kicked me out at my first meeting in second grade, for un-girl scout like behavior.  I may have only been a Girl Scout for a day, but I’ll be eating these cookies for a lifetime.

9.  Goodies:  Like these… or anything else where the main ingrediant is sugar.
 

10.  Goofballs:  I love to laugh and I love people who make me laugh.  And these five here I love very much.  Especially the last one, she’s a complete nut!

David & Amy Sedaris:

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler:
 And Lili, my surrogate niece:

*Side note:  After I finished writing this post I had an awe-inspiring idea: I should go through and highlight all the “G’s” green!  About 15 G’s in I realized it was a stupid ridiculous idea, but by that time I was already committed, so I had to finish.  So please, all two of who read this blog, take the time to admire the hard work that went into this particular post, because it sure took up way too much of mine!  And if you come across a “G” that I forgot to highlight, don’t tell me.  BECAUSE I DON’T CARE!

 

my students are concerned with my relationship status and my utilities, or lack there of

Student:  Do you have a baby?
Me:  No.
Student:  Do you have a husband?
Me:  No.
Student:  You don’t have a husband?  Do you at least have cable?
Me:  ……… No.
Student:  Damn girl, we gotta find you…I don’t know…somethin’.

 

*Yes, she said “damn.”  That’s how my sweet concerned ghetto third grader talks.

 

regular posting will resume after this brief nugget veiwing

Over the past few days nothing has really moved me or impressed me or held my attention long enough to post, and I apologize.  But when you don’t feel it, you don’t feel it, you know?  So to tide you over until I have an epiphany or something awe inspiring comes my way, I will share this little guy with you.  He’s the real reason for the lack of posting.  I just sit and stare at pictures of him all day.  Come February I won’t know what to do with myself when I get to physically see him and hold him and nibble him.  Oh, it will be a happy and delicious day!

 

you know it’s going to be a great day if you can’t remember how you got home the night before

This was the conversation between my “I’m still wearing the make-up from the night before” roommate and I this afternoon, twenty minutes before she had to leave for work and five minutes before she was slapped hard with the realization that we had no running water in our apartment.

 

Roommate:  What the fuck?  (Clutching the door frame in one hand, and her head with the other.)  Omigod, I’m still drunk.

Me:  Yes…(as she falls into the wall and then stumbles into the kitchen)…I believe you are.

Roommate:  It’s going to be a long day.

Me:  It’s going to be an ugly day.

 

wanna play? i am!

My dear friend, brookem over at Skrinkering Hearts has a little interveiw/questionair going on and I thought I would join in.  And if you wanna play along with us, then please do the following 5 things…

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. Be sure you link back to the original post.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

    

                       __________________________________

1- How did you come up with the title of your blog?  Foolish Thoughts are what float around in my head.  Nothing philosophical, just foolish.  A means of entertaining myself.

 
2- In your opinion, what’s the best thing about being single, and the best thing about being in a relationship?  The best thing about being single is well, you’re single.  It’s just you. You get to do what you want, when you want, and how you want.  The only person you have to keep happy is you.  The only person you have to worry about is you.  Being single is very narcissistic, it’s all about you and I like that.  But the best thing about being in a relationship (and I know I’m going to completely contradict myself here) is that you’re not alone, you have someone to do things with.  You have someone to walk hand-in-hand with, someone to eat with, someone to sit on the couch and watch movies with, someone to hold you when you sleep.  I’m trying to find the best of both, being single and being in a relationship.  I like being alone and I like having company, though I’m not sure there is a balance.
 
3- What’s something that one might not know about you from reading your blog? That I’m a huge fan of red jello and Toll House Crackers. 
 
4- Would you rather win an all paid vacation to your destination of choice, or an all paid shopping spree to the store(s) of your choice?  Definitely an all paid vacation.  My dream vacation would include an entire summer traveling through Ireland, England, Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Italy, France, and Spain. 
 
5- What’s the best thing about living in NY?  That the living space is so incredibly small, everything is outrageously expensive and there are rats!  IT’S GREAT!  No, really, it’s that there is always something to do and someone to do it with.  AND the museums!  I could spend days in the museums…days I tell you, days!